Rowynn Priscilla Ridder: My Introduction

Don’t be fooled, I might be adorable, but I am not Daddy’s little princess.  Oh, and please, if you refer to me as Anderson’s little sister do not expect a response. If you need me, address me by my name, Rowynn, or should I say,  Ms. Rowynn Priscilla Ridder. And please... Don’t dare call me arrogant. It’s called confidence people, and it’s a trait that comes naturally when your 6 pounds 3 ounces of absolute perfection.

Of course, this confidence is not merely derived from appearance.  You see, unlike many of my infant counterparts, I channeled my inner Robert Frost and took the road, or should I say canal, less traveled.  Let me be clear, I am not knocking my fellow infantiles.  I get it, there is definitely beauty in diving through the Canal To Openair head first.  This method undoubtedly requires grace and perhaps some panache; yet, regardless of one’s performance, the method remains the safest and most common choice of travel.  Likewise, I do not fault my friends who were stripped of the opportunity to surf the Canal To Openair.  Sometimes, the dangers are just too great, and in such cases, there is simply no shame in opting for an emergency evacuation. Heck, it happened to my brother; and though he’s a complete liability, i’m pretty sure he turned out okay.  Regardless, these two options were not for me.   Ultimately, positioning myself for a headfirst dive was far too much work for such a mundane outcome.  Alternatively, opting for Slice for Life, though totally acceptable, and, in my situation, almost always required; was an unacceptable solution.  

Yes,  I wanted to make a BIG splash... So, what did I do?  Well, first, answer me this, What do you get when you combine an amazing Dr., some retro medical practices and a little #pinkboomsaue???   Yup, you guessed it. CANNONBALL!!!

No, you are not mistaken, I, Rowynn Priscilla Ridder road Mama’s pipeline straight onto the Canal of Openair ass first.  Difficult? Duh!! I mean come on world, it’s the equivalent to driving a mirrorless semi truck down a mineshaft...In reverse no-less.  Impossible though… I think not!

Truth be told, the journey was an absolute blast.  The best part was the ending for sure.  I had heard that the last leg of the trip, often known as the Big Push, can take a few hours.  Not me. No way, no how. My Mom knew how excited I was to meet her.  Thus, at 8:08 on April 28th, after only 25 minutes, the final leg of my journey was complete.  I had arrived, and in an instant the world was graced with my presence.

Oh, if you’re wondering, I did make good on my promise.  My Cannonball delivered quite the splash.  You see, when you travel like a Cannonball, you can relieve yourself of unneeded weight halfway through the journey.  Obviously,  I couldn’t see the extent of the damage; however, I know its impact was felt across the “Southern Hemisphere.” #pinkboomsauce Say What!     

Also, a quick  shout out to Captain Mumbles, I mean, Dad.  Thank you for your minimal contributions to this entire process. Seriously, I’m just glad he didn’t get in an accident on the way to the hospital. Really? … being distracted by Nelly’s “Ride with Me” while driving my laboring mother to the hospital?  His driving alone is unnerving, throw in his unparalleled rapping ability, and I'm surprise my Mom didn’t fall into a anxiety propelled state of shock. Way ‘ta be helpful Dad.. Not! To be fair, the whole driving experience wasn’t all bad, the song gave me one more reason to be excited about life outside.  I just have so much to learn.  Like… What does Nelly mean when he raps, “F&^% fly bitches?”  Oh boy, I bet my Dad is thrilled to consider how he’ll answer all of my questions, questions he himself inspired.

To my dismay, this blog’s editor did not want my mother to receive any attention; but trust me, she’s the story’s true hero.  My mother, her AMAZING doula Lacey, and the incredible Dr. Hall and his Swedish Hospital team, are the reason I can proudly say, world lookout, as I Rowynn Priscilla Ridder - a cannonball of will and confidence - am coming your way.

Oh, don’t worry, I have no intention of stopping at just one post. I would be a disservice to myself.  I mean, OMG, why would I stop writing about perfection...